October 13, 2009
Divvying Up the Nobel Prize
I agree with Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen, who wrote this morning in “A Nobel for Us” that we as a people deserve the Peace Prize for having had the good sense and strength of character to elect Barack Obama President of the United States in the first place. If that’s true, then we as a people should have the right to decide what to do with the $1.4 million in cash (which is the same as money, as Yogi would say) that comes with the prize, with the caveat that awards be made to promote peace, comity and improve the human condition here and around the world. How do you think we should dole out the money? Here are several of my ideas for spreading around about half of it:
$75,000 One-year charm school scholarships for Redskins running back Clinton Portis,
U.S. Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA), and DC Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee
$200,000 Two-year charm school scholarships for Iranian President Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad, North Korean dictator Kim Il Jong, U.S. Sen. John McCain
(D-AZ), and DC Mayor Adrian Fenty
$3,600 One-way ticket, Paris to Los Angeles for movie director Roman Polanski
$2,500 Contribution to primary opponent of U.S. Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D-AK)
$900 Set of left-handed golf clubs for Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez
$4,500 One-way ticket, Kabul to Atlanta for Afghan President Hamed Karzai
$400,000 Grants to Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya and Florida to develop accurate
and secure voting machines
$65 Bo Derek blowup doll with defibrillator for Italy’s Prime Minister Berlusconi
$40,000 Eyeglasses for at least 100 Pakistani soldiers
$1,500 Bowling lessons for former GOP House majority leader Tom Delay
$25,000 Joint vacation in Utah for Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, former House
Speaker Newt Gingrich and their wives (just the current ones)
Send your suggestions to me at ray.abernathy@gmail.com and I’ll add them to the list and forward it to my high-level contacts in the White House (no crude language, please). Meanwhile, here are some ideas on how we could have made better use of the $1 trillion dollars we’ve spent so far on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, courtesy of the ANSWER Coalition (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism):
What can $1,000,000,000,000 do for our students?
216, 000,000 The number of children who could have full health care coverage.
18,000,000 The number of students who could get a free college education.
That’s every student currently in high school.
13,333,333 The number of teachers who could be hired with a $75,000 annual salary.
1,000,000 The number of homeless school children in the U.S.. They could all be
` living in a decent home.
Any parallel ideas on how we could better spend a trillion dollars? Send them along!
