Archive: December, 2010

Murdering my mother.

Anyone who hasn’t thought seriously about murdering their mother hasn’t made a seventh annual holiday visit to her in a nursing home.

The sound is that of the Spike Jones Orchestra tuning up. Brenda Lee whining Christmas songs. Multiple phones jangling.  Nurse’s aides alternately barking out orders and gently cajoling their charges to eat their inedible lunches. A resident cries out, “Mama, mama, mama.” Stella Eulalia Moore Abernathy, age 92, is having none of it.  It’s two in the afternoon and she’s still asleep sitting up in her standard-issue nursing home bed, wearing her standard-issue nursing home nightshirt, mouth open, snoring and drooling.  Her skin is the same cadaverous grey as that of my college roommate, whose viewing and funeralizing we attended earlier in the day. (More)

" title="Digg this story">Digg It

Waking John Sweeney

I’ve long felt wakes were wasted on the dead, especially if the deceased was a mule-stubborn Irisher.  So when I heard that President Obama is gonna give a Presidential Medal of Freedom to John Sweeney, I decided my friend and guidepost shouldn’t have to wait until his big toe is in the Styx to hear what people really think of him.  So every day until December 1st, I’ll be posting a Sweeney Story and inviting any and all to add comments, reflections, and stories to this blog, or send longer pieces to me at

Here’s another Sweeney/Teamster story.  I get a call one night from a woman lawyer in NYC whom I don’t know.  She invokes the name of a highly-trusted mutual friend and asks if I’ll make a trip up at my own expense to meet with a prospective client whose name she can’t divulge.  Since the mutual friend still has Polaroids of me being initiated into the Junior Chamber of Commerce (I thought it was a good idea at the time, but have since regretted my decision), I say yes and the next morning I catch the 7 A.M. Metroliner, as it was then called, and speed through a driving snowstorm to the Big Apple, as it is still called.  Who is this female barrister and why has she contacted me?  Who is this mystery client, and will he/she/it have money for a cash advance?  What the hell, I think, all of my clients are mysteries and none of the them pay up front, and some don’t even pay in back.

 The lawyer’s office is next door to the Port Authority bus terminal, so it’s only a short walk from Penn Station in the driving snowstorm, which by now has turned into a driven drizzle.  She cracks opens the ancient walnut-paneled door to her office, looks to see if anyone is behind me, then let’s me slip inside.  As I shake the drizzle from my ancient trench coat, she identifies herself as Susan Davis, a labor lawyer, a handsome young woman, certainly not glamorous in a movie-star sense, but handsome, wearing a black skirt, black blouse, black stockings and black shoes.  Her reception area contains one steel desk and two steel chairs.  I conclude this will not be a transaction involving any meaningful  amount of cash.

 Ms. Davis escorts me into a small conference room equipped with a steel conference table and steel conference chairs.  I wait, not long, but long enough to create an edge of anticipation.  A trickle of sweat runs down my armpit.  The door opens and a slender, dark-eyed man in a nondescript black suit enters.  I surmise he is the executive assistant to my prospective client.  He extends his hand and introduces himself, “I’m Ron Carey and I’m running for president of the Teamsters Union.”

Get out I say to myself and then to him.  We sit and talk for a few minutes, sharing who-do-we-knows and I tell him I know John Sweeney and he says yes, he knows, and then says he wants me to run his campaign for president of the Teamsters union, and I say get out again to myself and then to him.  Being a quick study, I say yes, but tell him I have to check in with John Sweeney, who at the time is my only non-mysterious client.

Back in DC, I call Sweeney and tell him what has happened and ask him if I should take the job. I tell him Ron Carey says he knows him, and Sweeney says yes, he’s met Carey, but he doesn’t think he has much of a chance at winning, just a UPS driver from a NYC local.  I say that doesn’t really matter to me, since I specialize in losing elections, and I ask again if I should sign on with Carey.  Sweeney says let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.

Two weeks later, I haven’t heard back from Sweeney and Susan Davis has called me twice.  I call Sweeney and ask him if he thinks I should take on the Carey campaign.  He grows silent and I can visualize him scratching his chin as he says let me get back to you on that.

 Another week goes by and Susan Davis calls and then Ron Carey calls and is very nice but says what’s up and I tell him I’m waiting for Sweeney to get back to me and he says I should call Sweeney again and then get back to him, meaning him, Ron Carey.  I call Sweeney back and tell him I need to give Carey an answer.  Sweeney grows silent and I say, let me put it this way, will you fire me of I take on Carey’s case?  Sweeney grows silent again, and then says I will if I have to.

So I turn down Carey and tell him he needs a field general and not a campaign manager and I give him Eddie Burke’s phone number.  Carey wins without me.  Go figure.

" title="Digg this story">Digg It

buy abilify online buy accutane online buy aciphex oline buy actonel online buy actoplus met online buy acyclovir online buy Advair Discus online buy aldactone online buy alesse online buy allegra online buy alli online buy Alpha Lipoic Acid online buy amaryl online buy amitriptyline online buy amoxil online buy ampicillin online buy anafranil online buy antabuse online buy Antiox Cats online buy antivert online buy arava online buy aricept online buy astelin online buy augmetin online buy avalide online buy avandamet online buy avapr online buy betnovate online buy bupropion online buy buspar online buy cafergot online buy capoten online buy carisoprodo online buy cefadroxil online buy cefixime online buy Celexa online buy cephalexin online buy chloramphenicol online buy chrysin-xy online buy cipr online buy citalopram online buy Clavamox online buy Clomid online buy Clozaril online buy colchicine online buy Coreg online buy Crestor online buy Cymbalta online buy cytotec online buy cytoxan online buy decadron online buy deltasone online buy diabecon online buy diamox online buy diflucan online buy dilantin online buy diovan online buy ditropan online buy dostinex online buy dulcolax online buy effexor online buy epivir-hbv online buy estrace online buy etodolac online buy eurax online buy Evegen online buy exelon online buy Femara online buy fosamax online buy fucidin online buy furosemide online buy gaba online buy hydrochlorothiazide online buy hyzaar online buy inderal online buy indocin online buy keftab online buy lamisil online buy Lasix online buy Levaquin online buy levlen online buy levothroid online buy Lexapro online buy Lipitor online buy lisinopril online buy Medrol online buy Metformin online buy Methotrexate online buy Minocin online buy Nexium online buy Nolvadex online buy Norvasc online buy Penis Growth Patch online buy penisole online buy Plan B online buy Plavix online buy Prednisone online buy Propecia online buy Proscar online buy Protonix online buy Provera online buy Purim online buy Retin-A online buy Rimonabant online buy Risperdal online buy Robaxin online buy Septilin online buy Seroquel online buy Shoot online buy Soothenol online buy Strattera online buy Sumycin online buy Tagamet online buy Tegretol online buy Tenormin online buy Topamax online buy Tramado online buy Trazodone online buy Tretinoin online buy Tricor online buy Vermox online buy Viagr online buy vytorin online buy Xenical online buy Zanaflex online buy zelnorm online buy zithromax online buy Zyba online buy lexapro online acyclovir alli viagra plus lasix buy clomid cheap prednisone zithromax buy cialis accutane buy zovirax buy cipro buy plavix buy nexium Ashwagandha levitra without prescription viagra professional online buy accupril online buy aceon cheap buy acomplia online buy adalat order buy albendazole cheap buy aldactone online buy alendronate cheap buy alesse generic buy allopurinol online buy amaryl order buy antabuse generic buy arava cheap buy aristocort online buy aristocort cheap buy ashwagandha cheap buy atacand generic buy atarax online buy atrovent order buy avandamet generic buy avodart order buy azulfidine online buy baclofen generic buy bactrim order buy bactroban online buy brahmi cheap buy bust enhancer no rx buy cafergot generic buy calan order buy captopril online buy cardura order buy cefixime generic buy ceftin no rx buy chloroquine order buy cialis professional no rx buy cialis online buy clonidine cheap buy colon clen supreme no rx buy combivent generic buy compazine cheap buy danazol online buy depakote order buy diclofenac gel online buy diclofenac cheap buy ditropan generic buy doxazosin cheap buy doxycycline online buy ephedraxin no rx buy fasta sleep strips no rx buy female libido patch no rx buy female viagra order buy flagyler online buy gemfibrozil generic buy glucophage order buy hyzaar generic buy insect repellant no rx buy isosorbide order buy kytril generic buy lamictal no rx buy lanoxin order buy l-arginine online buy levothroid generic buy lotensin generic buy lotrisone cheap buy male sexual tonic no rx buy mircette online buy mononitrate order buy noroxin cheap buy nortriptyline generic buy ortho tri-cyclen no rx buy pantoprazole online buy phenergan cheap buy plendil online buy prevacid generic buy procardia cheap buy propranolol order buy proscar online buy pyridium no rx buy rabeprazole order buy ranitidine generic buy relafen online buy risedronate cheap buy sarafem online buy serevent order buy stromectol no rx buy synalar cheap buy terazosin generic buy terramycin order buy tetracycline no rx buy tofranil online buy trileptal generic buy ultracet online buy vasotec order buy vermox generic buy viagra professional no rx buy voltaren online buy yasmin order buy zestoretic online buy zestril order buy zyloprim online